digital.goth.geek

Thursday just past, TheWife(tm) decided that it was time to re-arrange the house. Part of this re-arranging would involve me having to decide what I would do with the kaput 28″ widescreen TV that was sitting behind the bedroom door (as has been similarly employed for the past 21 months).

Would I:
a) bin it?
b) call “the man” to come and look at it? or
c) try to fix it myself?

I didn’t like the look of a) seeing as I’d paid the best part of ?400 for it, and b) would cost a bloody fortune, no matter how easy it would be for “the man” to fix. So I decided that, as I didn’t have anything to lose, I’d try c).

**12-Step TV Fixing for Idiots**
*(Don’t try this at home, kids!)*

## Step 1.
* Fetch all manner of random tools: screwdrivers, pliers, wire cutters, torches, tweezers, etc. You’re not going to need them, but it does make you feel awfully manly and useful.
* Get someone to make you a nice hot cup of tea — you’re fixing things — macho-like — and need a hot brew to keep your mind on the job.

## Step 2.
* Remove a fuse from the plug of a known-to-be-working appliance.
* Replace the fuse in the TV’s plug.
* Try the TV.
* Remove the new fuse from the plug and replace in the other appliance’s plug.

## Step 3.
* Cut the moulded plug off with wire cutters, replace it with one that was manufactured in 1974.
* Cut finger with wire cutters.
* Curse loudly.
* Try the TV.

## Step 4.
* Remove the fuse from the plug of a known-to-be-working appliance again.
* Replace the fuse in the TV’s plug.
* Try the TV.
* Remove the new fuse from the plug and replace in the other appliance’s plug again.

## Step 4.
* Position the TV on it’s screen: it will be front-heavy, and liable to fall this way if dropped or nudged, so you might as well.
* Casually observe the “Warning! High voltage — do not touch if you haven’t the faintest idea what you’re doing!” label on the back of the TV.
* Ignore the label.
* Take the back cover of the TV off, carefully removing the screws and storing them somewhere safe where the cat isn’t likely to eat them.
* Poke about inside the TV with a torch, blowing dust puppies from their circuit board breeding grounds.
* Look at the TV’s innards. Look knowledgable and mutter things like “oh, I see…” and “ah, that must be…”. Wink or nod knowingly at any observers (partners, cats, goldfish, etc.)

## Step 5.
* Press a few connectors in place, making sure the connections are tight.
* Replace the cover.
* Site the TV the right way up.
* Plug it in and try it.

## Step 6.
* Remove the cover again.
* Examine the insides once more, notice a tiny fuse-like object where the power cable joins the primary circuit board.
* Wonder if this is actually a fuse.
* Decide that it probably is, disconnect the mains power to the main circuit board and whip it out using the nearest tool to hand.
* Put the large screwdriver down, and use a smaller insulated screwdriver instead.
* Look enquiringly at any bystanders, show them the now liberated “fuse”, in case one of them knows what it *really* is.
* Receive nods of “ah, it’s one of those…”.
* Ponder the meanings of “2.5 AH” and “250V”.

## Step 7.
* Decide to go to an electronics spares company and see if you can get a replacement “fuse”.
* Wonder if it’s going to cost a tenner to replace and get looks of disdain from the shop owner because you’re not the sort of person who should go poking around the insides of a TV. It had a “high voltage” warning and everything…
* Warily ask the man behind the counter for “a new one of these”, while holding up the “fuse”.

## Step 8.
* Find out it *is* a fuse (or was, it has performed its function admirably: fused).
* Go home, with a brand-spanking new replacement fuse.

##Step 9.
* Insert the new fuse into the TV’s innards.
* Put the back cover on.
* Plug it in.
* Snarl at the fact that it still doesn’t work.

## Step 10.
* Remember that you’ve disconnected the mains power connector to the circuits, and forgot to reconnect it.
* Take the cover off again.
* Reconnect the power connector.
* Put the cover back on again.
* Switch it on.
* Swear at the TV, the cat, the now-cold mug of tea or anything else that’s laying about, like that small fuse on the floor…

## Step 11.
* Wonder why there is a spare 5A fuse still lying on the carpet.

## Step 12.
* Curse oneself that one should be so stupid as to forget to put a fuse back in the bloody plug!
* Put the fuse in the plug.
* Try the TV one final time before placing a well-armoured boot through the vacuum tube…

**YAY!** I’d never been so happy to see white noise in my life!

Armed with my new found “I’m a fixer of things!” super hero powers, I decided to take my camera apart and see if I could discover why the lens was buggered.

After spending bloody ages fiddling with the tiny screws holding it together, I took it apart (although I was careful, there were tiny red ribbon cables holding it all together). I could see no obvious damage to the camera, the lens unit or the controller, so I put it back together.

And whaddaya know? The damned thing works! I think when I accidentally dropped it last year (it takes me a little while to get around to fixing things, but I do get there eventually…) I think that the lens cover must have become jammed behind the camera’s chassis. Opening the camera up and moving the components slightly seems to have cured it.

So after spending a couple of hours or my time, a minor cash outlay, receiving only a couple of small cuts and abrasions and no electric shocks, I’ve managed to fix ?800 worth of electrical and electronic equipment, and saved myself the hassle and expense of having to replace them, or get “the man” (or perhaps two “men”, unless I could have found one that does cameras *and* televisions) to come round and take a look, who would likely have lightened my already-stretched-beyond-belief wallet by a not insignificant sum.

And the total financial cost? 40p.

40-bloody-p for the fuse! 0.05% of the total cost of the two now-fixed things.

I won’t say I’m not chuffed, because I am, but if I’d known how easy it was to fix these two things, I would have done it a lot sooner. I think there’s a lesson to be learned here.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 10th, 2004 at 5:34 pm and is filed under Uncategorised. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.